Pariah | Muse

You know, I realized something today. God made me a loner for a dang good reason. 

Until today, I was under the impression that my isolation was strictly for protection or worse- punishment. I’ve always wondered what I could have possibly done in a past life for God to make me lonely this lifetime. To create me to be so misunderstood seemed… cruel. 

But this is not about misunderstanding. This is about personal growth. 

I questioned God’s judgement for a long, long time. I consider myself a decent person. I recycle and pick up trash that I see, I’m a great cat mom, and a gentle and kind friend. I have my quirks like everyone else, but my heart is pure and my intentions are always for good. So how could He create me in the image of love, then show me so much hate? 

The answer is that I’m different… and if you’re feeling what I’m saying right now, you’re different too. 

Sometimes God separates the trailblazers from the crowd to teach us an important lesson: the crowd has no idea where they’re going, but our hearts and intuition do. The crowd is a mob, not a choir, just angry and tempted and desperate and distracted. To reach our goals and make change, we have to escape the mob mentality. 

Because this is Lover Girl, of course my personal example surrounds love or the lack thereof. God separated me, sat me down and silenced me, forcing me to see my worth and purpose without distraction, forcing me not to blame anyone else’s lack of love, because I was the only one in the room. Isolation made me accountable.  The process was painful and long, but now I can show up in any room completely sure and proud of who I am. And you know what that attracted?

Real. Deal. Love. 

We have to embrace loneliness, but steer clear of living in it. Healing isn’t over once the isolation is. After comes intention, discernment and direction. Lucky for us, there’s always room to isolate and recoup if distraction ever does take hold, before returning to the wild and reintegrating. 

Do not fear isolation. Hold it, sit with it, let the silence tell you what your mind and body both need. It gets easier with practice. But I promise, God made you lonely for a reason and you’d better welcome the feeling fast before it piles up. The longer you wait, the more there is to sort out!