Pariah | Muse

Love involves desire… but intentional love knows how to quell it. 

When we move out of desire we deny the more disciplined, healed versions of our most loving selves. Desire is parallel with impulse in lesser disciplined individuals. Intention is shown through love languages like quality time and acts of service. If your person lines your shoes up by the door, carries the groceries in when you’re too tired, leaves you little love notes or surprises you with dinner and a bath, you have an intentional lover. 

If you’re internalizing now and maybe realizing that you’re not the most intentional lover, that’s ok! There are plenty of ways to practice being more intentional, one of which I’m going to tell you about today. 

The key is to start by being intentional with yourself. For example, I’m very bad at helping my future self out, meaning with little things like adjusting a can after I’ve been in the cupboard so it won’t fall out the next time I pay a visit. I then curse myself when it falls the next time I open it, wondering what my past self was thinking.

Start by setting yourself up for success. Love yourself by being proactive, and taking care of little things that make life easier for your future self. Once you master the discipline that comes with that, you can start planning solo self care dates for yourself that you refuse to overlook or rain check. Make yourself a priority, and that will properly teach you how to make someone else, an extension of you, a priority too.

You can’t be intentional with a lover if you can’t be intentional with yourself! Every romance starts with self love- what we feel we deserve, we attract. Treat yourself like you’re somebody, and you’ll attract somebody that’ll match your standards and care for you well.