Pariah | Muse

There hasn’t been an experience on this earth that has turned me off of love, yet. 

I mean, think about it- it’s only rational to remain hopeful even after hurting, because what ends up hurting us isn’t love itself. It’s the pursuit of it; the emotions that come with the things we encounter that aren’t love along the way. Love is the reward, the end goal; the thing that makes the pain and struggle worth it. Love is beautiful and just; it’s the calm after the storm. The storm is what we tend to avoid. And, subsequently, that makes a lot of us much less loving. 

Not me, though. It takes a brave and strong heart to remain soft and caring, but somehow I’ve managed. I’m so proud of myself for that. I’m proud of you, too, if you find yourself giving more love than you receive. I see you filling others from an empty cup, girl. You understand that the world needs your overflow, but it’s so hard when the love is seldom returned. 

This has come at a detriment to my emotions many times, especially in my earlier years. Learning discernment is crucial, but before I realized this, I found myself giving chance after wholehearted chance, spilling my love into others that hated the taste. (A true lover girl, indeed). I figured the harder I loved, the more I could touch someone’s heart, and that was seldom true, (not immediately anyway; you keep loving because eventually you’ll make your mark… it takes patience… and, again, discernment. Maybe we’ll talk about that in more depth another time). 

I had no idea why I’d continuously remain so soft after the hurt, why I tended to lean towards amends rather than separation, even after enduring the worst pain. And I don’t just mean romantically! It used to frustrate me to no end whenever I’d respond to any kind of hatred with love. I’d often scold myself, wishing I were harder and more stoic. The lack of control I had over my abundance of love was majorly unhealthy. 

As I grew, I learned how to set parameters and boundaries. But there was one important thing I came to terms with on my journey- something every lover girl should know and be prepared for: 

You can’t find love without the hurt, no matter how informed or cautious you are, and that’s a beautiful thing. To be able to remain consistently kind in a world that is cold is the ultimate act of resistance. That’s how you change society. That’s how people learn better- by example. If you find that genuine love flows from you effortlessly, do not stifle it. That is your gift! The ability to withstand hatred and keep on loving anyway is your absolute talent, and we need you. 

Please, keep loving hard. Don’t question why, just do. And remember to protect yourself and discern along the way. 

Yeah… we’ll talk about discernment next. Before y’all go all willy-nilly. 😂