PEACE SAVAGE

We’ve all been in situations we’d rather not be in… because of our own ‘yes’. We sometimes, literally, dig our own graves, then spend an expanse of time wallowing in our miseries until we can go home again. 

Trust me, I get it. I’m the queen of ‘yes’. 

I’ve said ‘yes’ to relationships, jobs, friends, family and more… that certainly deserved a hard NO. All because I have a heart of gold. Being a people pleaser will push you to a place of solitude, loneliness, resentment and more. I’ve been there-I’m sorta there now. And I’m here to tell you how to snap out of it. 

Part of being a true savage is learning the word ‘no’, ASAP. It’s absolutely the first lesson, then you can learn to take your time back for yourself without guilt. It’s such a simple word; two letters, one syllable, no echo or reverberation, though this word does tend to hang in the hair heavily, especially when no one is used to hearing it from you. This is why saying no is hard; not because we don’t want to say it… because of the guilt.  

Many, many times, my no’s have turned into yes’s because I was not savage enough to stand up for myself, my time, my spirit… and every single time, I’ve walked away drained and regretful. I’ve let others make me feel bad for saying ‘no’ in order to take care of myself. My responsibilities have been neglected, my spirit and energy is drained, and I don’t want this to happen to you. So follow these steps. 

1. STAND YOUR GROUND WITHOUT FEAR- a.k.a. Stick to your no.

It all starts with finding the courage to actually say no. It’s so much simpler than we make it. You have to start somewhere, even if that place is “no, I don’t want to because…” though you owe no one an explanation. Get out of your comfort zone and say it. It gets easier with practice.   

2. Go home and process what saying ‘no’ felt like. 

The emotions that come with guilt can be killer. You’ll often find yourself second guessing, wondering if you’ve done something wrong in the beginning. But you have to realize the reward in standing up for yourself. The prize is your sanity. 

3. Distract yourself… let the guilt go. 

Do what you planned on doing in lieu of the plan you said no to. Find healthy distractions like cleaning and organizing your space, making yourself a healthy dinner, or getting some rest. Or, make a plan with others that’s more suited to you! Trust me… it’s ok to lean into what aligns with your spirit. 

4. Keep going. 

Do not stop. Practice makes perfect… practice creates a savage. Every new thing is hard at first, but you have to trust yourself and your gut in taking your time back. 

You got this.